I am a "third-country" Pupil - Hear Me Roar! A few days earlier to the blasphemous cartoon imbroglio, I came to know a scholarship program that a Dutch University was offering in collaboration with an UK-based University. I made an initial inquiry and then forget all about it. Once the cartoon controversy reared its ugly head, I was thankful that I was not interested in the university. I really don’t have to do anything with people who synonymously associate disrespect with freedom of press. Last week I received an email from them, as they were trying to conduct a survey, in which I was addressed as: Dear "third-country" student, I turn to you because you have showed an interest in the European Masters in Yada Yada… Can you believe the nerve of these people? Instead of referring to my name, they are using the adage "third-country". Think you “first-country” folks for reminding me of my country’s poverty level. Thank you for reminding me that beggars can’t be choosers and that they have to be called again and again by the namesake “BEGGERS” or “LOOSERS”.

The Book of My Life Where is your blog, when you need it most? Well it has fallen prey to the state imposed censorship over the blasphemous carton imbroglio. At times you want to say and write so much, pen away everything you feel, but once you sit down in all sincerity it vanishes, words abandon you. Isn’t life weird? One minute you feel as if you have everything in the world, you are on top of it, in full control. As if everything is going great, as if your cup is not full but in fact overflowing. And at the next day or the other moment, it seems as if you have nothing. As if you have been cheated out of things, people and happiness - always. As if the whole universe is conspiring against you. You carry around that dark pallor in your heart, where every view is tainted, every thought bleak, every memory – a pang. And then you see someone whose situation, pain, grief, worries is heavier than yours. Its then your heart learns to subdue. It’s then your mind learns the purging power of gratitude. It’s not an easy way to learn. And it sure isn’t a long-lasting stage of mind. Because tomorrow you would find other things to gripe about. Managing one’s own moods is half of the battle…most of the time. But as for today, you have least managed to stay grateful…and that’s a good thing. In the past few weeks, my old illness visited me twice, I was literally bouncing off and against the walls. Too disoriented, dragging myself around in a state of semi-consciousness, because the house hold and job related responsibilities didn’t allow me to slow down and take a break. Your illness and the subtle dramas in your life can’t be a center stage of everyone else’s life always. Those brief moments of being down reminded me how lucky I have been to be functional all this while. The glitch ups and break did slow me down but they didn’t stop me, like they did before. Hence, the gratitude makes my heart swell. In the past few weeks, I also have let gone a few of my inhibitions, which wasn’t easy at all. But there - I have set a wheel in motion and would follow it through. It can be another classical goof-up or it can be another chapter in my book. One that the state can’t control, deny or block. The one that is being etched every day in my heart….blow by blow, breath by breath, moment by moment. That’s the book of my life. Hope you are writing yours.